


Feels like going home

by Gweiddi_at_Ecate



Category: Frozen (2013), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: A little angst, Could have been worse, F/M, FrostQueen, mentions of a Snow Queen-Elsa lineage, post-character death, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 12:05:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11161494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gweiddi_at_Ecate/pseuds/Gweiddi_at_Ecate
Summary: In which the world has gone on, but someone hasn't.





	Feels like going home

**Author's Note:**

> Same old, same new: English isn't my mother tongue (I wish, though) so there may be mistakes. Obviously I hope not, but if you find any, please, let me know so I can correct them asap.
> 
> This _thing_ has been sitting in my laptop for ages. Like... two years? No, okay, maybe it was just one and a half. I don't even know. Some of the facts mentioned here date back to the time I had this crazy idea of writing a Jack/Elsa long-fiction, which, additionally, was supposed to be divided in two spans and... yeah. It was a big idea. Sadly, I'm too lazy to follow my own stories. But you may never know. Especially because I don't sit well with the idea of Elsa being mortal while Jack is not. I'm okay with my OTP being put through _the worst_ (hi, Richard and Kahlan, how you doin'?) but in the end they. must. be. happy.  
>  So it's possible that one day I'll end up writing that shit.

The wind was quite cold, but not as much as it could be. Jack remembered a time when winters in Arendelle were harsher, the freezing air reddened people’s noses and cheeks within seconds, and breath came out in clouds. The citizens didn’t dislike it, though: as long as winters were cold, it meant the queen was fine, and summers were pleasant enough to stand some more snow during the rest of the year. And then the landscape in winter was wonderful. It was like seeing the queen all around you, having her shield you in a white embrace like a mother would. Or a sister, a friend, a lover… queen Elsa of Arendelle used to be everything for the people who knew her, her family and her subjects, everything.

She used to be everything for Jack. She had been his friend when she was a scared child, a companion as she had grown older. A wife, when she had come of age, and they had decided to live the rest of their lives within a dream. The Guardian of Fun and the descendant of the Snow Queen, they were practically born for each other.

Jack smiled ruefully.

It hadn’t been an easy life. They had faced foes and challenges the whole time, people who hadn’t believed in him, old spirits who had hoped to suck the power out of Elsa, the very heritage of the ancient Snow Queen who had created the world where Arendelle existed. All their enemies had failed. Elsa and Jack had fought them all, always together, always in love, and even when fear had been too much, their family had been there for them: Anna and Kristoff, their children, and the Guardians.

No, it hadn’t been an easy life indeed, but damn him if it hadn’t been a happy one.

And just when Jack had thought nothing could ever improve it, Elsa had come to him in a whirl of snowflakes, telling him she was pregnant. He had kissed her senseless, held her close while they were twirling mid-air, smiling and crying and laughing.

Back then he didn’t use to mind the wrinkles around her eyes. As the years passed and their son was growing older and pouting because _Papa, why can’t everybody see you?_ Jack had never noticed the different shade of silver between Elsa’s hair. And she had hidden the dark circles under her eyes, and she had learned to close her hands in fists before anyone could see her fingers shaking. He hadn’t known until it was too late.

Anna had cried, North had gone speechless for the first time in his long life, and Jack… he had been livid with anger. He had shouted, and had kicked chairs, and broken things because _no_. No! Not after all they had been through, not after all that they had faced, not after their promise to live and die together. Just no.

And then, just like that, within one winter breeze, she was gone.

Of course, Jack had been stupid. Elsa was powerful, more than him, she was cold and pale _just like him_ , but she wasn’t completely like him. He had forgotten. While he was a spirit, she had always been human. The Snow Queen could be the head of her lineage, Elsa could be the first true heir of that winter goddess, but she was still horribly human.

Elsa was supposed to die. He wasn’t.

That was why he was there, alone in the royal graveyard, the few gardeners checking the shrubbery of evergreens completely unable to see him.

Jack sat down on the frozen grass, the earth was cold but not enough to him, and he looked at the letters engraved at the feet of the stone statue.

He hated that image. It was fit for a queen, alright, but it was so damn… empty. Elsa had always had that special spark in her eyes, in her voice, even on her last day she could fill the room simply with her magic, simply by existing. That statue over her grave didn’t catch a shred of her charm, of her life force. But then, not even the sculpture of his son was anything like him, so maybe it was just Jack who couldn’t see it, who remembered too well the ones he had loved. The ones he still loved, fiercely, as if time hadn’t passed at all and they were still with him.

He felt something warm and wet running down his cheeks. The temperature suddenly dropped, but Jack knew it wasn’t his doing.

He dried his tears on his sleeve, hiding his face from the Snow Queen.

“Here again, Guardian?”

“Here again.”

The woman beside him was tall and lean, her chin high and dark eyes glittering. Frost encrusted her lashes as well as her hair and the furs of her clothes. She tilted her head, her crystal crown tingling like silver bells.

“The world has gone on, Guardian. It happens, sometimes.”

“She was their queen!” he hissed, gritting his teeth.

Every time he came to Arendelle, the same thing happened. He went to the Ice Palace on the Northern Mountain, fixed the walls and turrets which had been melting since Elsa’s death. He rested there for a day or two, telling himself it was the last time, that he was letting go at last. But he never did. He went to the graveyard instead, and put icy flowers on the statues and tombstones of his family.

The servants whispered and marvelled, and he was glad, because the legend wouldn’t die: Arendelle would keep remembering the Ice Queen and the winter spirit she married as long as he kept bringing white, snowy flowers to the graveyard.

He just wished for some hours of peace, time to mourn and drown in his grief without the need to hide from Toothiana’s worried eyes or North’s useless cheerfulness. They didn’t know. They didn’t understand.

“She was queen two hundred years ago. It’s time to move on.”

Jack clenched his fists and refused to look at her. “I’m sorry, I’ve got something more than ice in my heart,” he retorted bitterly.

“Do you now? It doesn’t seem so to me. How long has it been since the last time–“

“Just leave me alone!” he shouted, finally turning to her, and his sight trembled and became watery again as tears flowed down his face.

The Snow Queen frowned, her white – not pale: _white_ – lips drawing a bitter grimace.

“It’s not cold or winter you’re hosting in your heart, Guardian. She wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

“How would you know?”

Jack turned to Elsa’s grave again. He sensed the Queen going still behind him, and then the air becoming a little warmer as she disappeared.

He collapsed on his knees, ache in his chest and grief in his throat. He would have never guessed that things that made him so happy in the past could impose such pain in the present. But he had seen his wife dead in their bed, with eyes closed as if she were sleeping. He had left the place at the first shadow of grey in his son’s beard, knowing he couldn’t endure another funeral. He had regretted it only afterwards, the day he had realized he had wasted all the time they still could have spent together.

He fell asleep, tears still streaming and body huddled against the stone. His mind was in so dark a place he didn’t wake when a tiny man approached him.

Sandy frowned and sighed sadly, looking at his friend. He limped, standing on his cane as he went near Jack. He passed a hand on his forehead and nodded quietly, pensive. He managed a small smile as he faced Elsa’s chiselled statue, but scowled soon after.

Sandy was making strange faces, grimacing and nodding occasionally, as though he were talking with someone. He smirked at last, nodding enthusiastically.

He searched his pockets and found a handful of golden sand. A gentle swish raised it, the grains glistening and covered with frost.

Sandy blew the sand. He smiled, and took off his bowler hat. _Sweet dreams_ , he gestured. _You two deserve them plenty_.

 

_He’s in the dance hall, the room is crowded with people, and Elsa is radiant. Jack remembers this day: it’s Anna and Kristoff’s wedding. The public one, at least, because if memory serves him well, the two lovebirds have actually got married the day before, in front of the trolls. Granpabbie was the one to bind the ribbon around Anna and Kristoff’s wrists, and unite them in holy-not-exactly-holy-but-you-get-it matrimony._

_Of course, they still have to perform some proper ceremony for their people and the nobility of Arendelle, and Anna is just enthusiastic about it, because two weddings mean two gorgeous dresses and even more cake for her to eat._

_On his part, Jack has liked the troll wedding better. At least people could see him there. But this isn’t bad either: the two sisters literally thrive when they’re amongst their people. Plus, he can stand next to Elsa and hold her hand, and no one can scold him if he isn’t acting properly, because who’s going to see him if he decides that he really needs to kiss his wife’s shoulder? Come on, Elsa, it’s not like they know I’m misbehaving, just try not to blush like this._

_He lets his eyes wander briefly, remembering all the beautiful pictures hanging on the walls, and taking in the mere sight of commoners and nobles feasting together for the young princess’s wedding. Anna is a vision of white silk and pink flowers, but he’s just a little biased, and he actually thinks that no one could ever come close to Elsa and the soft glow of her hair or the tenderness of her eyes. She’s wearing her ice dress again. She now does it every time she must appear to any official event. She says it’s a way of hinting gently at her power, so that people keeps perfectly in mind that she’s not only a queen, but also an extremely powerful one. Jack doesn’t care much about subtle political statements. He just knows that she looks perfect when she’s covered in frost and thin ice._

_Jack doesn’t know what got him so lucky to dream back of this day, but he’s going to enjoy at its fullest. He’s not going to fall into the temptation of pranking some of the guests – but seriously, a good number of the nobles are so uptight they are practically asking for it – or wander off to look for Eugene. He’s spending every single moment with Elsa, because he knows this moment won’t come back. He feels it in the ticklish itch of his fingertips, so he’s sure this dream isn’t completely his doing: the colours are vivid, but not dream-vivid, and he can smell the food on the silver trays and the flowery perfumes of the ladies. And then… yes, he’s almost sure of it: all the people parading in front of the throne aren’t smiling and greeting Elsa alone. Some of them are daring to look just right of her, and they exchange timid smiles with him too. He has been unconsciously answering to their little gestures, acknowledging them as if they could see him. They can._

_He’s thrilled. In a rapid thought he thanks Elsa for forcing him to dress up for the occasion. Back in the morning he had told her it was no use, since only a handful of people would notice, but she had argued it would have been rude to wear his usual outfit at a wedding. Yes Jack, even if only a handful of people would notice._

_He kisses Elsa’s palm and smiles. “Let’s dance.”_

_She blinks and smiles back, if a little awkwardly. “What?”_

_“Come on, it’s you sister’s wedding. You ought to dance.”_

_“You hate dancing.”_

_“But you love it, and I love you. Get up, Your Majesty.”_

_It’s not completely true that he hates dancing. It’s just that he still feels like a country boy, and he knows all the dances of the folk, while Elsa is royalty, and sometimes it’s a little hard not to feel self-conscious around her. When it’s only the two of them, he loves making her twirl, if only because that means he gets to hold her even tighter after a step or two. In public they can’t ever dance because, well, it would be awkward for the queen to look like she’s dancing alone – people aren’t comfortable with the idea of an invisible winter spirit, so they are keeping it as quiet as possible. Their wedding was probably the worst kept secret in all Arendelle, but ehy, they are still doing their best – but this time people can see him. He can act like a proper husband, and wow, he has never realised how much he had wished to be able to do it._

_They get to the centre of the ballroom and everyone makes space for the queen and her consort. Jack can’t help laughing, and even Elsa seems a little giddy. He’s all awkward with his hands, because he doesn’t really know how he’s supposed to behave. Should he treat Elsa as the queen or as his wife? He tries to regain some composure and even hints at a half bow, to which Elsa responds with a much more gracious one. Of course she does. She’s chuckling as she holds his hand and subtly suggests where he should put the other one._

_From that point everything gets way easier. He follows the music, and lets Elsa lead for the first steps, only until he gets comfortable enough to get the rhythm, and then they’re swirling and twirling, and Anna and Kristoff are dancing somewhere next to them, and it’s all laughter and smiles and the music flowing sweetly._

_Jack’s heart is beating in his chest like a drum. He hasn’t felt this happy in ages, and he’s smiling so much his cheeks ache. Elsa seems to sense it, and her eyes are glittering with the same careless joy._

_They’re still dancing when she whispers to him,_ _“It’s not like I’m totally gone, is it? I’m still here with you.”_

_“Don’t spoil it, Majesty,” he tries to joke. But Elsa scolds him immediately._

_“I’m serious, Jack,” she smiles softly and raises a hand to caress his face. Her skin is cool and smooth and he moans just a little. He has missed her touch so, so much. She looks tenderly at him, “I’m not gone. I’ll always be with you.”_

_“You promise?” he asks with his eyes closed. He’s not too sure if he’s ready to face her expression. What if she’s looking at him pitifully? What if she’s going to tell him he should let go? He can’t do that._

_“I promise. We’ll always be together. Just wait and see.”_

_He believes her. Elsa was never the one to lie, and if she says something, it’s because she knows something._

_He opens his eyes and nods, smiling fondly._

_“Okay, Majesty. I can wait some more. But don’t take too long.”_

_She chuckles politely. “I’ll see what I can do. I love you, Jack.”_

_“Yeah, I think I still love you too.”_

_Elsa frowns skeptically. “You think?”_

_“Ehy, I have a reputation. Let’s leave the lovey-dovey thing to your sister, okay?”_

_She laughs whole-heartedly, and he really can’t help but kissing her._

_It feels like being home again._


End file.
